Legendary undead professional wrestler ┬áThe Undertaker announced today that he has “a lot of gas left in the tank” and vows to wrestle at least 10 more WrestleMania matches, promising fans he will “never rest in peace.”

The Undertaker (real name Cab Calloway) has not competed in the ring since 2020, when he officially hung up his hat, jacket and boots, and promised to never roll his eyes back in his head while sticking out his tongue ever again.

Since retiring, the Phenom has taken up numerous hobbies to pass the hours once occupied by wrestling, but he quickly grew tired of scrapbooking, collecting novelty salt shakers and volunteering at his local Death Valley youth drop-in center.

“I will never retire again,” said the Deadman, 72. “They can take this job from my cold, undead hands.”

The Undertaker’s announcement has sparked interest from numerous potential opponents, most notably Jerry Lawler and Ric Flair.

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