wwe 2k17 gameplay
The avatar of Hunter Hearst Helmsley enters the ring to begin a long soliloquy.

In what promises to be “the most realistic WWE simulation to date,” the forthcoming WWE 2k17 game will force players to sit through long periods of bickering and name-calling before they can press a single button.

“You’ll feel like you’re playing an actual episode of Raw!” promises a press release issued today by game developer Yuke’s. “We promise you’ll finish at least two beers before you can even throw a punch.”

According to the press release, every session of gameplay will begin with a member of the McMahon family sauntering, swaggering or strutting to the ring, antagonizing and/or pandering to the crowd, and spending the following 11 minutes recapping recent events.

McMahon will then be interrupted by a wrestler, whose own tirade will be interrupted by another wrestler, and so on, until at least a dozen wrestlers are in the ring and nearly half an hour has elapsed.

Finally, gamers will hear McMahon say: “And that match starts… right now!”

Then, following one minute of gameplay, the game will be interrupted by a two-minute commercial break.