WWE 2K17, the video game featuring the superstars and action of World Wrestling Entertainment, is reportedly the most realistic instalment of the franchise, even featuring bozos in the audience chanting for the long-absent CM Punk.

The game boasts the most lifelike graphics and sound yet, depicting in high-definition the bleating of sheeplike fans ruining promos with hackneyed chants.

“This is the most immersive WWE game in history,” boasts a press release issued by game developer Yuke’s, “making players feel like they are actually being annoyed by dimwits at a live WWE event.”

The digital fans in the game, many of whom are wearing ratty old nWo shirts, seem oblivious to the fact that CM Punk has not been seen in WWE for eight months and has insisted that he will never return.

Other new features intended to enhance the realism of the game include:

  • Obstructed views due to fans holding misspelled signs in front of the camera
  • Commercial breaks in the middle of matches
  • Other annoying chants, such as “Goldberg” (during Ryback matches) and “What?!”
  • Non-stop jabber about the WWE App and WWE Network (“It’s only $9.99”) by commentator Michael Cole
  • Every playing session begins with a 15-minute in-ring promo by Triple-H

According to one video game critic who has tested an early version of the game, “it’s so realistic that you won’t even want to play it.”


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[Thanks to Marwan TheRazor for the story idea]

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