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Even Paul Heyman (bottom left) looks away awkwardly during the boring 17th minute of the I Quiet match.

Fans of professional sports-entertainment were not sports-entertained by a recent WWE bout which, due to an unfortunate typographical error, was scheduled as an “I Quiet” match instead of an “I Quit” match. 

Spectators watched for 30 boring minutes as Roman Reigns and Jey Uso stared at one another in complete silence, each careful not to get disqualified by breaking the “I Quiet” stipulation. 

Commentator Michael Cole did his best to sell the match as “historic” and “unprecedented,” but television ratings show an enormous drop in viewership after the seventh minute of Reigns and Uso standing statue-still, avoiding even accidental sources of noise like stomping feet or dripping hair. 

Roman Reigns (real name Romayne “The Rock” Johnson) and Jey Uso (real name Wally Greenblatt) tried to use facial expressions and mime techniques to convey a compelling story, but the match nevertheless received only 0.007 stars from veteran wrestling journalist Dan Mutzler. 

Longtime fans may remember when a similar typo resulted in a quick, unentertaining First Man Standing match. 

 

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