hall of presidents
The Jack Tunney robot has taken its rightful place in the Hall of Presidents, despite Tunney’s controversial ruling about Lex Luger’s forearm smash.

Shortly after the addition of an animatronic Donald Trump robot to its Hall of Presidents, the Walt Disney Corporation announced that it will “correct a glaring omission” from the attraction by adding a robotic Jack Tunney.

President Tunney ruled World Wrestling Federation (now World Wrestling Entertainment) as its firm-but-fair president for an 11-year term spanning 1984 to 1995, and arguably has done more for American culture than many occupants of the White House, past or present.

The Tunney robot was unveiled at Disney world today, taking its rightful place between Abraham Lincoln and George W. Bush, and delivering a pre-recorded oratory:

I presided over World Wrestling Federation in tumultuous times, amid grave threats from singing Russians and insane Iranians.” says the robot, clad in a grey three-piece suit, fingertips realistically stained yellow from cigarettes.

I sought justice and sportsmanship, whether suspending Danny Davis for biased officiating, reprimanding the Islanders for dognapping Matilda, or stripping Ted DiBiase of an ill-gotten world championship.”

The inclusion of Tunney makes him the second president with WWE connections to be enshrined in the Hall, and the first among them to have been even remotely qualified to hold office.

Disney also announced that Gorilla Monsoon — who held the WWF presidency from 1995 to 1997 — will also soon be enshrined in the Hall of Presidents, as soon as they can find the right shade of purple for his glasses.