Trump signs executive order demanding Cena turn back babyface
WWE Hall of Famer and two-time US “President” Donald Trump, reportedly “heartbroken” over the recent heel turn of his favorite wrestler, John Cena, signed an executive order this morning demanding Cena switch back to being a babyface.
Sources say single orange-tinted tear streamed down Trump’s face the night Cena viciously attacked Cody Rhodes several weeks ago, having sold his soul to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for reasons unclear.
A White House insider said Trump was so furious about Cena’s heel turn that he threatened a nuclear strike of Cena’s hometown of West Newbury, Mass, but settled instead for burning a pile of his once-beloved Cena merch (but not his replica spinner belt, which remains a fixture of the Oval Office.
During a press briefing on the White House lawn, Trump told reporters that Cena’s heel turn is “very bad and very sad for this country,” and said WWE will face “huge tariffs” if it is not reversed within three weeks. Trump then hopped into a waiting Cybertruck driven by Linda McMahon, which they then deliberately crashed through the front window of the US Department of Education.
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