trump umaga
Donald Trump shows a picture of himself shaving Vince McMahon’s head alone, though some pundits suggest other people have been cropped out of the picture.

During a wide-ranging 90-minute press conference at the White House today, WWE Hall of Famer and US “President” Donald Jimmyjam Trump claimed he did a “tremendous job” at “defeating Umaga without any help whatsoever” at WrestleMania 23.

“I battled Umaga — who, by the way, was an illegal immigrant from Samoa, very bad — and I defeated him with my patented spear finished,” said Trump, which sparked snickering from the White House press pool.

“After the match, I grabbed Vince McMahon, held him in a barber chair all by myself — I’m very strong, a strong and stable genius — and then I shaved his head bald with one graceful sweep of a straight razor.”

Trump’s claims have been criticized as “exaggerated” by libtard snowflakes who claim that the “video evidence” shows Bobby Lashley doing “all the actual wrestling,” but Trump has dismissed these allegations as a “rigged witch hunt.”

In a later Tweet, Trump said he also started the WWE Women’s Revolution and broke The Undertaker’s streak.