Following his failed attempts to institute a travel ban and repeal Obamacare, US President Donald Trump announced today that he has appointed pro wrestler Bobby Lashley to “do the actual presidenting stuff.”
At a press conference this morning, Trump insisted that the appointment of Lashley is “best for business, and best for America.”
Trump last teamed up with Lashley at WrestleMania in the so-called “Battle of the Billionaires,” during which Trump and fellow billionaire Vince McMahon did not actually do anything resembling battle.
In that match, all the hard work was done by Lashley and Umaga, who, for reasons that now seem preposterous, agreed to fight in order to determine which billionaire’s head would be shaved.
Trump has vowed that, after Lashley successfully implements a travel ban, builds a wall along the Mexican border and banned travellers from Muslim-majority countries, they will celebrate by shaving Hillary Clinton’s head.