While being treated in hospital after catching a virus that will go just away like a miracle when the weather gets warm, WWE Hall of Famer and US “President” Donald Trump was reportedly attacked by a burly nurse employee who clobbered the authority figure with a bedpan. 

Details are sketchy, but reports are emerging that Trump was in high spirits yesterday afternoon following a visit from Mr. Socko and Yurple the Clown. 

Trump was then the recipient of a very special Make-A-Wish visit from John Cena, who told the president to “Never Give Up, l’il champ.” 

But Trump’s condition worsened when a nurse — who witnesses say was muscular, vulgar and smelling of bad beer — burst into the room and thumped Trump upside the head with a bedpan. 

One witnesses described the nurse’s actions as “a can of whoop-ass” being opened on the president, and said the attacker was quoting some bible verse as he stomped out of the local medical facility. 

Trump’s doctors said he is “doing well,” but refused to answer questions about leaked rumors that the attack had caused permanent damage to Trump’s come-over.