WWE Hall of Famer and US “President” Donald Juan Trump told a packed rally full of maskless nitwits today that he is the “greatest wrestler” to ever be enshrined in the prestigious Hall of Fame. 

“Nobody knows pro wrestling better than me, because I’m tough and big and strong,” said the clinically obese orange-faced leader of the free world. 

“You name them, I’ve wrestled them — Hulk Hogan, Dwayne “The Rock” Jefferson, Cold Stone Steve Austim — and I always won.”

In reality, Trump has not wrestled in WWE, per se, but he once recruited a large black man to do his bidding and then shaved the head of a fellow billionaire narcissist who, true story, then became Trump’s largest donor during the 2016 election that Trump “won” with just 3 million votes shy of the popular vote.

Despite this fact-checking, Trump has doubled-down on his claim of wrestling greatness, insisting that he slammed Andre the Giant at WrestleMania 3.