mcmahon trump
Former foes Donald Trump and Vince McMahon are now friends, thanks to their mutual narcissism and shared reptilian DNA.

Not satisfied with simply putting his communications staff in impossible predicaments before firing them, US President Donald Trump is reportedly hoping to take a page from Vince McMahon’s playbook by launching a “Kiss My Ass Club” for disloyal White House employees. 

Trump and McMahon are longtime friends who share similar passions — the accumulation of wealth, the wielding of power, the worship of self — and now Trump is hoping to run his White House similarly to how McMahon helms World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). 

In 2001, a power-drunk McMahon began demanding that WWE personalities he deemed insubordinate — including William Regal, Jim Ross, Mick Foley and others — kiss his taut, rippling, tan-lined buttocks. 

According to White House insiders, Trump has always admired McMahon for this brazen abuse of power, and hopes to use it to “teach a huge lesson” to White House flunkies like Sean Spicer, Anthony Scaramucci, Michael Flynn, Jeff Sessions, and Reince Priebus. 

Trump and McMahon were once fierce rivals, resulting in a showdown that led to Trump shaving McMahon’s head, rather than McMahon shaving the single, long thread of orange hair that is spun like candy floss around Trump’s empty cranium.