ddp yoga trish stratus yoga
Diamond Dallas Page (front) will face Trish Stratus in a long-awaited yoga deathmatch.

Rumors are emerging that WrestleMania 30 will be headlined by WWE alumni Trish Stratus and Diamond Dallas Page squaring off in what will be billed as an “Intergender Yoga Deathmatch.”

One backstage source, speaking on condition of anonymity, says Stratus and DDP will put each other in an increasingly challenging series of yoga poses until one has achieved so much Zen that he or she is rendered unconscious.

The idea is believed to be the brainchild of WWE honcho Vince McMahon, who recently took up yoga to rehabilitate his hip after reconstructive surgery.

“Vince loves yoga, but he wishes it could be used for violence instead of fitness, flexibility and relaxation,” said the source.

Early plans for the match involve Trish Stratus getting an early advantage by forcing DDP into an “upward-facing dog” pose before nailing him with a “lord of the fishes” stretch.

It is expected that DDP will then make a “hot comeback” using hot yoga, with some outside interference from trainees Jake Roberts (who will put Stratus in the “coiled python” pose) and Scott Hall (who will just throw a toothpick in Stratus’ face).