During a 27-minute diatribe that opened this week’s episode of Smackdown, WWE Chief Operating Officer Hunter Hearst Helmsley announced that he shall henceforth be nicknamed The Man That Brevity Forgot.

“In this-ahh business-ah,” he said, beginning an oration that would span three commercial breaks, “there are leaders-ahh, and there are followers-ahh.”

Helmsley continued in this manner, accentuating every third word with a guttural exhalation, for 17 more minute before finally getting to the part about his new nickname.

“Shakespeare-ahh wrote that brevity is the soul of wit-ahh,” droned Helmsley, while wife Stephanie McMahon visibly struggled not to doze off by his side. “Well Shakespeare’s dead-ahh, and I’m the Game-ahh!”

Helmsley’s new monicker is an obvious attempt to capitalize on the popularity high-flying rookie Neville, known as The Man That Gravity Forgot.

According to some backstage sources, a variation of the gimmick was intended for CM Punk before he walked out of the company: The Man That Humility Forgot.