Total divas cast
Madam Sassybarks will lend Total Divas a dramatic gravitas currently lacking from the show.

In an effort to bolster the believability and credibility of popular TV show Total Divas, the program’s producers have added an animated talking dog named Madam Sassybarks to the cast.

Although the so-called “reality TV” show has enjoyed popularity among wrestling fans seeking masturbatory fodder, many have complained that the contrived scenarios and clunky dialogue are just not believable.

The addition of Madam Sassybarks, a jive-talking canine whose beauty is matched by her attitude, is expected to lend the show more dramatic gravitas and attract a more astute demographic of viewers.

Madam Sassybarks makes her debut on this Sunday’s episode of Total Divas, breaking up a petulant squabble between Eva Marie and Nattie over the affections of TJ.

“You girls betta watch yo backs,” growls Madam Sassybarks, her rhinestone-studded collar jangling with bling, “because this pretty pooch has a bite worse than her bark!”

In order to further enhance the intellectual appeal of Total Divas, future episodes will depict the Divas driving from town to town in a van solving mysteries.


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