tna warehouseAccording to reports surfacing on and other unquestionably reliable media outlets, Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling will soon be headquartered in a van down by the river.

The van has previously been used by TNA to house merchandise for its online store, including nearly 10,000 unsold Claire Lynch t-shirts and a signed CD from Jeff Hardy’s band, pEroXygEn?wHo?73.

TNA’s Chief Operating Officer and former motivational speaker Matt Foley says the company’s relocation is “perfectly normal,” and widespread rumors of financial difficulties “don’t amount to jack squat.”

The van once reportedly rolled off the steep riverbank and into the river, completely blocking the flow of water until a thief spotted it and attempted to rob van dam.


[NOTE: We sincerely apologize for that final, terrible pun.]