TNA bound for glory
TNA has doesn’t want fans to get their hopes up.

Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling is taking an honesty-in-advertising approach to promoting this weekend’s Bound for Glory event, dubbing it “The Blandest Stage of Them All.”

In a series of video vignettes about the event, a deep-voiced narrator describes the annual event as “passable” and “better than nothing.”

The event will feature, among other inconsequential diversions, a performance by Jeff Hardy’s band,¬†Peroxwhy?gen, which is universally expected to be an awkward and unpleasant experience for everyone.

The event will also feature a three-way match between some women with large bosoms, and a so-called Ultimate X match, in which a bunch of guys will dangle from strange playground equipment above the ring.

TNA President Dixie Carter, not wanting to get people’s hopes up, has dubbed the event “The Showcase of the Mortals.”