timekeeper wwe
A clanging bell does nothing, of course, to stop an angry wrestler in a post-match attack.

Amid a vicious post-match attack on a vanquished and outnumbered wrestler, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) timekeeper Berkley Ottman frantically rang the ring bell again and again, evidently under the mistaken assumption that it would somehow help. 

“Ding ding ding!” went the bell, Ottman feverishly pounding it with a mallet in an ill-fated attempt to restore order. “Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding!”

Naturally, Ottman’s frantic bell-ringing did nothing to save the wrestler — how could it? — from suffering a beatdown at the hands of a several rulebreaking enemies. 

The clanging bell did, however, seem to summon a gaggle of zebra-shirted referees, but they also proved impotent in their attempts to quell the violence, as they apparently have the strength of an average toddler. 

“Ding ding ding,” rang Ottman’s bell uselessly, as what little self-esteem Ottman had left quietly shrivelled into an empty husk. “Ding.”

Leave a Comment