doctor wrestlerHoping to communicate an unfortunate herpes diagnosis in a way that his patient would comprehend, a doctor at a venereal disease clinic chanted this morning to an aging professional wrestler, “YOU STILL GOT IT.”

The wrestler — whose name was withheld, but was a member of the nW0, which narrows it down to 87 possibilities — has struggled with a variety of sexually transmitted ailments since the freewheeling 1990s heyday of the so-called Monday Night Wars.

Like many pro wrestlers of the era, he enjoyed anonymous romantic encounters in cities around the world, leading him to contract diseases including dirty dickslater, claNidia, pubic enemy, non-primo colon, mahoney ballz, human paulromavirus, badd blood, and bruised brodies.

The doctor struggled to make the wrestler understand the diagnosis until he accompanied the chant with five syncopated handclaps.

When the wrestler explained the doctor that he never uses protection during sexual encounters, the doctor responded: “YOU DESERVE IT.”