A self-absorbed wrestling fan trying to get herself on WWE television caused a catastrophic pileup on Monday Night Raw when her sign tripped one wrestlers, causing a domino effect of tumbling mayhem. 

“Oh, this is horrible, just horrible,” intoned a sombre Michael Cole, surveying the bodies strewn about the ringside area. “This is something you never want to see happen.” 

The woman who caused the crash is now on the run from the law, although police insist there is “no truth” to the rumors that she was an undercover operative from AEW attempting to sabotage its larger rival. 

The woman’s sign, which first tripped Titus O’Neil and then dozens more, read “ALLEZ OPI OMI,” which, roughly translated from Swahili, means “Push Ziggler.”

As a result of the pile-up, WWE has cancelled all plans for future live events and announced that all programming will be recorded at the ThunderDome until the end of time.