Grappler-turned-thespian Mike “The Miz” Mizanin is generally considered the biggest movie star to ever emerge from sports-entertainment, but his latest movie deal takes the cake — a $338-million three-film contract to portray Neo in the next series of Matrix films. 

The Miz will replace the aging Keanu Reeves, who at 73 is no longer believable as the brilliant hacker who learns that the entire world is a simulation to lull humankind into dreamlike complacency in order for them to become energy sources for their robotic overlords (compared to Mizanin, at a comparatively young age of 51). 

The Miz is considered by many to be “perfect” for the role of Neo, given the critically acclaimed performance he delivered in the 2013 blockbuster Marine 7: Marine Goes to Summer Camp, and the universally beloved Christmas Bounty.  

In the next three Matrix films, Neo will confront the evil overlord of a corporation that is lulling humanity into a deep, complacent sleep — the diabolical Mr. Mick Mann. Neo and Trinity (played by Maryse Mizanin) must topple Mr. Mick Mann before he is able to create the ultimate weapon against humanity: Monday Night Raw in virtual reality. 

Judging by the reactions of test audiences who have seen an early cut of The Matrix: Rejigged, the performance of Mizanin in the lead role is a shoo-in for an Oscar, a Golden Globe, and a third-runner-up Slammy. 

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