Randy Savage slim jim
Randy Savage drastically overstated the excitement of snapping into a Slim Jim.

Chris Corruthers, a longtime fan of professional wrestling and salty processed snacks, was disappointed today when snapping into a Slim Jim failed to elicit the kind of excitement Randy Savage had led him to expect.

“It’s OK, I guess,” Corruthers reported after his first bite of the cylindrical stick of nondescript meat and nitrates.

For years, Corruthers had believed that snapping into a Slim Jim would be a dynamic and explosive experience, as indicated by television commercials featuring late professional wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

Corruthers had held off for nearly two decades to try one, waiting until the perfect moment when he needed “a little excitement,” which Savage had insisted was the most opportune moment to “snap into it.”

Instead of experiencing a mind-blowing blast of intense flavor and excitement, however, Corruthers experienced only the vague sensation that his arteries had clogged slightly.

It reminded him of the time he tried Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli at the recommendation of Mick Foley, but disagreed with Foley’s glowing review that it was “the perfect ravioli for all mankind.”