Shawn Michaels, a professional sports-entertainer who will come out of retirement this week at the WWE Crown Jewel event in [REDACTED], has retraced his steps “a thousand times” but cannot seem to find his favorite black sleep mask.
Michaels (49), a grizzled and battered veteran of countless battles who nevertheless goes by the nickname “Heartbreak Kid,” has been searching high and low for the sleep mask, which helps him cope with jet-lag and smile loss.
“I’ve looked everywhere,” a flustered Michaels told the concierge at the Raddison Hotel in [REDACTED], where
all most of the superstars of WWE will do battle during Crown Jewel at the [MADISON SQUARE GARDEN].
Despite his frustration over losing his sleep mask, Michaels is looking forward to proudly showing off his recently shorn head to the huge audience in [THESE GREAT UNITED STATES OF AMERICA].
“Y’know, I’ve always been totally OK with my hair loss, y’know, and I’ve never tried to hide it, y’know,” Michaels said.
In what is quickly becoming the greatest “rib” in all of wrestling history, all of Michaels’ friends and colleagues have, over the past several weeks, agree not to tell Michaels that his sleep mask is on his forehead.