Shane McMahon shatters pelvis falling out of bed
Shane McMahon, who has miraculously escaped serious injury during multiple previous falls from improbable heights, was hospitalized with a shattered pelvis this morning after falling out of bed in his Connecticut mansion.
The estranged heir-apparent of the McMahon sports-entertainment empire — who recently leapt from a 40-foot cage onto a table with no lasting ill-effects — reportedly suffered multiple fractures after falling 18 inches to the plush carpet of his luxurious bedroom.
McMahon’s wife says she tried to prevent his fall — hollering “No, Shane, don’t do it! It’s not worth it!” — but it was to no avail, as he groggily rolled off the bed anyway, which elicited a “Holy Sh**” chant from the housekeeper.
Even landing on a balloon, serendipitously left at the bedside by one of his children, did little to prevent McMahon’s career-threatening injury.
Doctors who treated McMahon at Stamford General Hospital told reporters that, God as their witness, he was “broken in half.”