Shane McMahon injured
God as our witness, Shane McMahon was broken in half after tumbling out of bed.

Shane McMahon, who has miraculously escaped serious injury during multiple previous falls from improbable heights, was hospitalized with a shattered pelvis this morning after falling out of bed in his Connecticut mansion.

The estranged heir-apparent of the McMahon sports-entertainment empire — who recently leapt from a 40-foot cage onto a table with no lasting ill-effects — reportedly suffered multiple fractures after falling 18 inches to the plush carpet of his luxurious bedroom.

McMahon’s wife says she tried to prevent his fall — hollering “No, Shane, don’t do it! It’s not worth it!” — but it was to no avail, as he groggily rolled off the bed anyway, which elicited a “Holy Sh**” chant from the housekeeper.

Even landing on a balloon, serendipitously left at the bedside by one of his children, did little to prevent McMahon’s career-threatening injury.

Doctors who treated McMahon at Stamford General Hospital told reporters that, God as their witness, he was “broken in half.”