Stephen Andrews, a 44-year-old Seattle man who has struggled with sex addiction his entire adult life, believed nothing could quell his insatiable libido until he saw Chyna’s latest adult film, Queen of the Ring.
“Instantly, I was cured,” Andrews said. “I don’t think I’ll every consider having sex again.”
In the past, Andrews had tried cold-turkey abstinence, meditation, hormonal therapy and other techniques to dampen his all-consuming lust, but nothing worked.
Then, at the recommendation of a friend, he downloaded Queen of the Ring, which features the bedraggled former WWE star performing a variety of repulsive sex acts with men disguised as popular pro wrestlers.
“Within the first five minutes, my sex drive vanished entirely,” said Andrews. “Suddenly I saw sex as a vulgar, unpleasant and shameful act. It’s a miracle, really. I’m finally free.”
Research suggests Chyna’s adult films might cure thousands of sex addicts in the future. Laboratory rats in one experiment immediately stopped copulating after merely being shown a photograph of a topless Chyna.
Andrews recently had a brief relapse after meeting a woman at a bar, but he then downloaded Hulk Hogan’s sex tape and has been happily sex-free for five months now.