Steiner TMZ
Wrestling fans are shocked by the allegations that Scott Steiner might have strung together a grammatically impeccable sentence.

Celebrity gossip website TMZ reported today that grotesquely muscular professional wrestler Scott Steiner, while making disparaging remarks about Hulk Hogan, actually strung together a comprehensible sentence.

“Hulk Hogan is a person of dubious character for whom I feel no affinity,” Steiner told TMZ in a shocking display of syntax, grammar, and elocution.

Wrestling fans worldwide were stunned by Steiner’s statement, since it is the first known instance of Steiner making any public utterance that isn’t grammatically catastrophic, laden with profanity, or filled with marble-mouthed gibberish.

Steiner was reportedly banned from the recent WWE Hall of Fame ceremony in California because WWE officials were terrified he might try to make a speech on live television.

Steiner is well known for raving on-air promos in which he hollers like a schoolyard bully (or, on rare occasions, speaks in mathematical riddles), and for a Twitter account that is an all-caps assault on the English language.

Steiner’s unexpected moment of coherence when speaking to TMZ seemed to be fleeting, however, as he ended the interview with a double-bicep flex and the taunt: “Suck theses peaks, you pieces of sh**.”