Saudi oil billionaire Muhammad bin Aziz plans to drive his third-favorite Lamborghini to the Mohammed Abdu Arena Thursday to sit on a plush sofa in the front row, his body rotated 180 degrees to chat with the slightly-less-rich oil magnate sitting behind him.

“Crown Jewel is always great for for mingling and networking,” said bin Aziz, a software CEO best known for inventing a technology that turns gold into even golder gold. “I think I successfully brokered a pilot deal for a Saudi sitcom Where In the World is Muhammad Hassan.”

Front-row sofas at Crown Jewel are an expensive purchase for the typical wrestling fan, but $50,000 is pocket change to the Saudi’s monied elite, who care more about being seen at Crown Jewel than seeing Crown Jewel. 

Sadly, WWE’s ringside regulars — green shirt guy, long-haired Simon and mom, Brock Lesnar guy, and others who always sit in the front row opposite the “hard camera” to feed some sad, primal need to be seen — could only afford a chaise lounge in the fourth row. 

Get a Kayfabe News shirt (and if you’re a Saudi prince, get a thousand of them). 

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