Rob Van Dam
Rob Van Dam is reportedly the only human on earth who likes his theme song.

The cacophonous, discordant noise that blares during Rob Van Dam’s ring entrances in TNA has been named “The Worst Song of All Time” by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA).

The dubious honor went to the song for its “jarring, Radio Shack synthesizer clanging” and “barking, monosyllabic vocals,” as well as “its overall lack of melody, rhythm, intelligence or listenability,” according to an RIAA press release.

The song (if it can be accurately described as a “song”) begins with a grating mish-mash of shrill guitars and a clumsy mess of electronic drums. A lackluster nu-metal vocalist then hollers the “lyrics” of the song: “Rob Van Dam! Whole Effin’ Show. Van Terminator! Van Terminator. Van Crushinator! Van Assassinator!”

The song then repeats this pattern for several minutes, though few people have managed to listen to the whole thing without leaving the room or turning off the TV.

“It’s the auditory equivalent of a root canal,” said the press release. “By comparison, Vince McMahon’s song ‘Stand Back’ from the second WWF Wrestling Album is a timeless masterpiece.”