Rob Van Dam return 2013
Rob Van Dam (left) has vowed to reclaim his stolen singlets from Ryback.

It was announced this week that popular professional wrestler Rob Van Dam will make a long-awaited return to WWE next month in order to reclaim all of his ugly airbrushed singlets from Ryback.

Since rising to prominence last year, Ryback has worn all of Van Dam’s tacky, unattractive spandex tights during matches.

Although Ryback’s bulging physique fills out the garish ring attire better than Van Dam ever did, RVD still claims to be the rightful owner of the smelly, outdated gear.

“That stupid-looking spandex wardrobe is mine!” tweeted Van Dam last night.

“WWE is only big enough forĀ oneĀ man in washed-out pastel singlets, and that man is me.”

Van Dam says he still has the receipt of purchase for all the tights, having commissioned them from the late Rick Rude’s seamstress.

It is reported that Van Dam is also returning to WWE because he heard the company’s Wellness Policy no longer covers marijuana.

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