WWE wrestlers Heath Slater and Zack Ryder squared off against one another last night in a showdown that was described by wrestling commentators as “the resistible force meeting the movable object.”
Neither competitor dominated the other, nor did either man unleash feats of brute strength or ruthless aggression that struck fear into his opponent.
Fans in attendance did not leap to their feet in amazement, and not a single chant of “Ho-ly sh**” or “This is awe-some” erupted in the not-yet-packed arena.
Longtime wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer did not assign the match a star rating, because he was getting a hot dog when it happened.
The six-minute “dar” match — the opening warm-up before a WWE Superstars taping in Wichita — featured three arm drags, a sunset flip, two dropkicks, a long side-headlock, and a small package by Slater for the victory.
Wrestling pundits who saw the showdown have since described it as “decent,” and many believe the bout will go down in the history books as “a match that happened on a given date at a certain place.”