Lesnar return raw
An epic showdown that several-dozen people were awake to witness.

According to a ratings report, last night’s surprise return of Brock Lesnar to World Wrestling Entertainment’s weekly Raw program was only actually witnessed by the minuscule percentage of fans who were still awake at the time.

The Nielsen ratings report indicates that a large portion of fans dozed off during the mid-show match between Randy Orton and Kane — some mistakenly believing they were seeing a re-run from 2007.

Viewership plummeted again when a tone-deaf stick figure called Machine Gun Kelly performed a “song” on the program, reminding many fans of their least-favorite part of WrestleMania 28.

Less than 10 percent of the viewing audience was still tuned in to witness Kevin Owens powerbomb the rapping twerp off the stage onto an incongruously located rectangle of padding, so most fans missed what should have been an epic “face turn” by Owens.

By the time the newly reinstated Lesnar appeared at the conclusion of Raw to challenge Seth Rollins to a rematch, nearly all of the remaining viewers had been hollered at by their parents to turn off the TV and go to bed.

According to wrestling fan Barry Raposo of Tallahassee — one of only seven people who witnessed Lesnar’s return — it was “OK.”