Local redneck Travis McCreary was crippled by indecision last night trying to figure out which wrestlers to boo in a tag team match featuring all black competitors.
McCreary gawked dumbfounded at the match pitting the Prime Time Players against the team of Kofi Kingston and R-Truth at a WWE show in Nashville.
“Well dang,” drawled the slack-jawed McCreary, a brown rivulet chewing tobacco spittle trickling toward his chin.
“I can’t boo everybody. But how do I choose?”
McCreary has always relied on skin color to determine which wrestlers are the “good guys” and “bad guys,” but last night’s match offered no such straightforward way to pick his allegiances.
At one point during the match, he turned to the person sitting beside him and asked which wrestler “looked the lightest,” but the neighbor misunderstood the question and replied that Kofi Kingston probably weighs the least.
During a moment of mental clarity, McCreary wondered if he should just judge wrestlers based on their talent and charisma rather than their skin color. But the moment passed, and his mind reverted to its normal state of bigoted ignorance.
He sat quietly until the next match — Big E Langston versus the John Cena — and was comforted by knowing exactly which man to boo.