Backstage sources at World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) are reporting that, just one week after the debut of the beautiful 24/Championship, tonight’s episode of Monday Night Raw will feature the unveiling of yet another new belt, the All Entire World (AEW) Championship.
“Vince (McMahon) is adamant that we launch this thing tonight,” revealed one WWE staffer who, for the sake of anonymity, asked to be named only as B. Kidman.
McMahon reportedly feels that the simple “World Championship” is “passe, quite frankly,” and that fans are desperate for something new, fresh, exciting, and non-traditional, ideally with a handy acronym that will resonate with jaded viewers.
Given the ever-growing list of championships in WWE, we developed this handy tool for differentiating them:
- Universal Championship: can be defended anywhere in the cosmos, but typically only thrice annually
- World Championship: can be defended in any country on Earth, but especially America
- All Entire World (AEW) Championship: can be defended anywhere within Earth’s atmosphere, including on land, on/under water, in flight, or at the edge where the flat Earth drops into oblivion
- Intercontinental Championship: Defended in North America. Does Central America count as North America? We’re never sure. Also defended anywhere. This one makes no sense.
- WWE Championship: just like the World Championship, but defended between blue ropes instead of red ones
- 24/7 Championship: defended anywhere, anytime (but, realistically, defended after you’ve already fallen asleep on Monday nights)
- Women’s Championships: defended pretty much anywhere except Saudi Arabia
- NXT Championship: defended in action-packed matches by highly athletic wrestlers who stand under five-foot-nine
- Cruiserweight Championship: apparently still a thing?
- NXT European Championships (men’s, women’s, and tag team): Defended in Europe by champions whose names 94 percent of wrestling fans can’t remember.
- NXT United States Championship: Doesn’t exist, but you had to think about it for a moment, didn’t you?
- NXT North American Championship: Does exist, but we’re not entirely sure why.
- Hardcore Championship: see 24/7 Championship, but 20 years ago
The new AEW championship will reportedly be defended for the first time this June at the newest addition to WWE’s pay-per-view lineup, Triple Or Nothing.