Although he is physically outmatched by the mammoth Brock Lesnar, CM Punk plans to defeat his nemesis at tonight’s WWE SummerSlam by quizzing him on grammar.
Punk told reporters at a press conference this morning that he intends to quickly stump Lesnar by asking him to differentiate between the proper uses of the “their,” “there” and “they’re.”
“That lunkheaded gorilla can probably barely spell his own name, let alone delineate the proper usages of homophones,” said Punk.
If Lesnar somehow manages to pass the first grammar test, Punk plans to stymie him by demanding that he correctly write both “your” and “you’re” in a sentence.
“You’re going to fail, Lesnar, due to your puny monkey brain.”
It is expected that Lesnar will quickly become confused by these simple tests, thus causing him to thump his chest, hoot agitatedly, and hurl his own feces before WWE officials subdue him with a tranquilizer dart.
Punk said winning the match will “figuratively be a breeze, because Lesnar is literally a dunce.”