Dana UFC fake
Dana White, legendary promoter of tedium, criticizes pro wrestling as “fake.”

The Twittersphere erupted yesterday when professional wrestling was dismissed as a “fake” sport by Dana White, the world’s foremost promoter of the boring sport of mixed martial arts.

White, whose Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) features dozens of crooked-nosed lookalikes who entwine their limbs while lying down in an octagonal cage, seems to believe his interminable pay-per-views are more worth watching than World Wrestling Entertainment’s exciting, carnivalesque events.

The second-rate Vince McMahon imitator described wrestling as “fake sh*t,” launching an avalanche of angry responses from pro wrestlers and fans pointing out that “fake sh*t” is still more entertaining than White’s “dull sh*t.”

White also failed to acknowledge that the only marginally interesting aspects of his UFC — bombastic production, trash talk, dramatic feuds — are the aspects he pilfered from pro wrestling.

White’s promotion held its ingeniously titled UFC 190 pay-per-view last night and — aside from the four seconds during which WrestleMania 31 star Ronda Rousey punched some other woman — the event served as a better sedative than NyQuil.