money in the bank divas
A match between some blonde (left) and some brunette (right) will be received with widespread indifference.

Money in the Bank, a WWE pay-per-view event being broadcast tonight from Boston’s TD Garden, features not one but two Divas matches, proving conclusively that World Wrestling Entertainment hates you.

The three-hour event, which was created to showcase the exciting namesake ladder matches, will see Summer Rae square off against Layla, and Paige go up against some other scantily clad floozy about whom the vast majority of wrestling fans do not give a flying you-know-what.

Although both matches will likely be mercifully brief, both also indicate that World Wrestling Entertainment takes some kind of sick pleasure in displeasing you.

Fandango will serve as guest referee in one of the matches, because WWE evidently hates him too.

In a press release issued today, WWE stated: “We like to give the WWE Universe a huge variety of attractions, including pointless filler that nobody wants to see, just because we’re kinda dicks.”

The press release concludes with a two-word refrain that is familiar to wrestling fans: “Suck it.”