Bella vs paige
Paige’s burnished-ivory bum will do battle with Nikki Bella’s bronze, statuesque bum this Sunday.

Sources within World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) confirmed today that this Sunday’s Battleground pay-per-view will feature a Divas match pitting Paige’s bum against Nikki Bella’s bum.

Paige’s taut, milk-white bum has been seeking retribution on Bella’s tanned, toned bum for weeks now, and the Battleground bout should finally settle which bum is the true “face of the Divas division.”

The feud has been heating up as of late, particularly after Stephanie McMahon’s boobs sparked a “revolution” in the Divas division by introducing NXT standouts including Charlotte’s legs, Sasha Banks’ tush, and Becky Lynch’s taut tummy.

The majority of fans will be cheering for Paige’s alabaster buttocks, though a minority will be distracted by Tamina’s broad, muscular shoulders.

Other fans, meanwhile, only care about the match in which John Cena’s rippling pectorals will square off against Kevin Owens’ luscious neckbeard.