Anticipation for WrestleMania reached a fever pitch this week when it was revealed that one of the greatest performers in WWE history will square off against a bald schmuck when, respectively, Baron Corbin faces Kurt Angle.
Renowned for his unparalleled amateur background and meteoric rise to stardom in sports-entertainment, Corbin will surely be the odds-on favourite when he faces TNA cast-off Angle, who has never resonated with fans.
Using his superior grappling skills, Corbin is expected to retain his status as a true American hero when he dominates Angle, who is best known for his stints as a heel general manager.
Corbin, an all-American athlete, lives according to what he calls the “Three I’s” — Incredulity, Irrationality, and Idiocy — which have made him a highly relatable hero for fans.
The WrestleMania showdown is expected to be a quick squash victory for Corbin, which will signal a long-overdue retirement for Angle, who will quickly fade from the collective memory of fans due to his inconsequential impact on the sport.
Upon retiring from WWE, Angle is expected to return to his previous career as a milkman.