Pro wrestling figure skating
Figure skater Jason Brown doesn’t watch pro wrestling because it’s too choreographed and flamboyant.

Jason Brown, an American figure skater representing the United States at the Winter Olympics in Sochi, recently remarked that he will never watch professional wrestling because it is a “silly, choreographed spectacle.”

“Wrestling is all about flashy, crowd-pleasing moves, but I’d hardly call it a sport,” Brown said dismissively while sewing extra sequins onto his mauve velour performance vest.

“It’s really a bunch of guys in colorful spandex bouncing around,” he added, slipping into his form-fitting silver tights. “Too flamboyant for my tastes.”

Brown finished ninth overall in Sochi with an impressive “program” featuring maneuvers such as the “double axel,” “the half-flip,” and the “triple toe loop.”

Back at his hotel room after the event, Brown accidentally saw a snippet of WWE Raw on TV and snickered at “goofy” move names like the “double axehandle,” the “monkey flip,” and the “stepover toe-hold.”