Jason Brown, an American figure skater representing the United States at the Winter Olympics in Sochi, recently remarked that he will never watch professional wrestling because it is a “silly, choreographed spectacle.”
“Wrestling is all about flashy, crowd-pleasing moves, but I’d hardly call it a sport,” Brown said dismissively while sewing extra sequins onto his mauve velour performance vest.
“It’s really a bunch of guys in colorful spandex bouncing around,” he added, slipping into his form-fitting silver tights. “Too flamboyant for my tastes.”
Brown finished ninth overall in Sochi with an impressive “program” featuring maneuvers such as the “double axel,” “the half-flip,” and the “triple toe loop.”
Back at his hotel room after the event, Brown accidentally saw a snippet of WWE Raw on TV and snickered at “goofy” move names like the “double axehandle,” the “monkey flip,” and the “stepover toe-hold.”