In a stark demonstration of the adage that “with great power comes great responsibility,” sports-entertainment executive Hunter Hearst Helmsley carelessly pointed his index finger at a rickety bamboo coat rack this afternoon, thus immediately adding it to the roster of World Wrestling Entertainment.
Helmsley and his wife were shopping at a Stamford-area thrift shop for Halloween costumes (they plan to dress up in tattered clothes to portray Matt Hardy and Lita) when the WWE COO pointed at a coat rack and said, “Hey Steph, do we need one of these.”
Although Helmsley immediately realized his mistake, he could not undo the powerful influence of his right index finger, which dictates all recruitment decisions in WWE.
“Dangit,” muttered Helmsley, before adding: “Well kid, welcome to the big leagues.”
Helmsley then threw a punch at the coat rack, which fell to the ground and broke one of its brittle coat hooks, prompting Helmsley to compliment its performance: “Good snap.”
According to backstage rumors, the coat rack will soon begin a feud with the broomstick that has long been praised as a good opponent for Ric Flair.