Hogan Zeus
Viewers will experience atrocious, ham-fisted acting in unprecedented clarity with the No Holds Barred Blu Ray.

The digitally remastered Blu-Ray release of No Holds Barred provides viewers with vivid high-definition visuals and a full surround-sound experience of dreadfully ham-fisted performances of ridiculous dialogue and poorly choreographed action.

The unnatural orange glow of Hulk Hogan’s over-tanned skin seems to burst off the screen as he delivers hackneyed dialogue with exaggerated facial expressions.

Thanks to the DVD and Blu-Ray re-release the story of Rip — a popular professional wrestler who vows vengeance against an evil wrestler named Zeus — can now be endured and cringed at by a new generation of gluttons for cinematic punishment.

“Rip, I know you out there!” growls Zeus with unprecedented audio quality that fully reveals that theatrical ineptitude of actor Tom “Tiny” Lister.

When Rip finally defeats his nemesis and celebrates with his little brother, the picture quality is so clear that you can actually see the chopped onions in the background used to put tears in the performers’ eyes.

The forthcoming DVD/Blu-Ray release of Suburban Commando promises to be “so high-def, you won’t be able to stand watching it.”