New day who
Once they recover from multiple lacerations, the members of the New Day are expected to abandon their hooting gimmick.

A lighthearted bit of in-ring tomfoolery turned tragic today when professional wrestling tag team The New Day were viciously attacked by a flock of owls, apparently enraged by the wrestlers’ repeated utterances of “who, who, who.”

Fans watched in horror as a barn owl and three horned owls swooped from the rafters of Toronto’s Air Canada Centre, clawing and pecking and screeching at the trio of wrestlers.

“It was horrifying,” said one fan who witnessed the Hitchcockian carnage. “One owl dug its talons deep into Big E’s booty, and Xavier Woods was so badly scratched on his face that I’m worried he’ll never play trombone again.”

Ornithologist Dr. James Myers believes the owls acted aggressively because it is their mating season, and they were attempting to assert dominance over the hooting members of the New Day.

The situation was made worse, Myers said, by the fact that the wrestlers were wearing unicorn horns, which is considered a sign of aggression by great horned owls.


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