WWE Diva Natalya spent this afternoon wistfully reminiscing on the “good old days” of her career, when she gained notoriety and on-screen airtime by farting.
“Those were the days,” sighed the second-generation wrestler, whose prodigious in-ring talents have scarcely been seen since the farting schtick ran its course.
In the months since her last onscreen flatulence, Natalya has portrayed little more than a grinning piece of eye-candy alongside the freakishly tall Great Khali and freakishly short Hornswoggle.
Most recently, she has been mocked ruthlessly by the Bella Twins.
Although she didn’t enjoy the farting gimmick at the time, Natalya now yearns for the kind of prominence that it gave her on WWE programming.
She has reportedly been eating eight servings of beans daily, boisterously breaking wind whenever a member of WWE’s creative team is nearby, but to no avail.
She is reportedly pondering a belching gimmick.