Russian Meteor
Quick-thinking Vladimir Koslov headbutted the incoming meteor into smithereens.

According to a report released today by NASA, the meteor that hurtled toward Russia Friday would have caused catastrophically more damage if it weren’t for Russian professional wrestler Vladimir Koslov, who headbutted it into smithereens.

“Thanks to the quick thinking and rock-solid forehead of Mr. Koslov, the meteor was relatively harmless compared to the damage it could have inflicted,” said Dr. Leo Vallence, chief meteor scientist at NASA.

“Mr. Koslov should be celebrated as a hero for protecting the planet from an extinction-level event.”

According to eyewitness accounts, Koslov performed a feat he honed to perfection in WWE. As the meteor hurtled toward earth — much like a WWE competitor leaping off the top rope for a double axe-handle — Koslov leapt head-first toward it.

The impact of the headbutt caused the meteor to explode into many smaller meteorites, which rained down upon Russia’s Ural region.

Although thousands were injured from shattering glass, the impact would have been much more devastating without the quick-thinking actions of Koslov.

For his heroic efforts, Koslov received a letter of commendation from Russian statesman Nikolai Volkoff.