Fans of professional sports-entertainment are abuzz today after the unexpected WWE debut of a masked newcomer named Mr. McMerica, who walks with a grandoise strut and speaks in a manner that is both oddly familiar and quite frank.
“Quite frankly, I am taking over,” bellowed Mr. McMerica to a stunned audience tonight on Monday Night Raw.
“I will become WWE Champion and things of that nature.”
Mr. McMerica arrived in WWE arrived in WWE during tumultous times, given that longtime WWE Chairman Vince McMahon has stepped aside amid allegations of inappropriate use of grapefruits and a boatload of money.
Speculation abounds about true identity of Mr McMerica. Some fans believe it is Mark “The Undertaker” Calaway trying a new gimmick, while others have suggested it is Baron Corbin, or even Elijah (the older brother of Elias and Ezekiel). Longtime wrestling journalist Dan Mutzler has implied that Mr. McMerica is actually Vince McMahon in disguise, but that seems absurd.
Although Mr. McMerica sports an impressive physique, his athletic skills have left fans unimpressed, given that be blew out both quads while trying to get into the ring for his debut, and delivered the rest of his promo seated, leaning against the bottom rope.