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Mr. G-Merica claims he has obtained certification that cannot be taught.

The world of professional sports-entertaining is abuzz today with the news that a disguised, gibberish-spewing newcomer named Mr. G-Merica has arrived backstage at Smackdown and vowed to “be the realest masked man in the room.”

Tattooed and hyperkinetic and increasingly annoying, Mr. G-Merica proclaimed to possess studliness that is “bona fide,” yet cannot be taught — an somewhat oxymoronic statement, given that only a teacher could certify studliness.

The true identity of the mystery man is unknown, but some keen-eyed observers have suggested that the wispy blond hair peeking out from the back of the mask indicates it might be Hulk Hogan, or possibly Dolph Ziggler on a good hair day.

Others suggest that Mr. G-Merica could be the unknown man who was removed by security from the second row of Survivor Series this past Sunday, but Mr. G-Merica adamantly denies such suggestions.

Asked by reporters to reveal his true identity, Mr. G-Merica responded with a question of his own, asking reporters how they are doing.




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