miz vs bryan
Daniel Bryan and The Miz will square off in unkempt bedrooms and darkened basements worldwide tonight.

Following a bitter war of words this week on SmackDown Live, WWE Intercontinental Champion The Miz and SmackDown General Manager will square off in the smelly bedrooms and dank basements of gamers worldwide tonight.

Miz and Bryan, who nearly came to blows over Bryan’s description of Miz as “cowardly,” will settle their differences in millions of digital rings, their movements manipulated by countless nailbitten male thumbs.

According to an online poll, the majority of matches will see Bryan and Miz square off in a Tables Ladders and Chairs match, but a surprisingly large number of bouts will be Triple-Threat matches featuring create-a-wrestler concoctions with names like Andrew the Giant, Captain Turdburgler, and PaigeLover69.

The matches will have to satisfy fans desperate see Daniel Bryan defeat The Miz in real life, because obviously that could never happen given that Bryan has always been, at best, a B-plus player.