The world of professional wrestling was abuzz this week with the news that longtime sports-entertainment mogul Vince McMahon has rejoined WWE Board of Directors, but that is just the beginning.
During an “emergency meeting” of the WWE Board today, McMahon announced that six more respected leaders will be joining the board alongside him to “shake things up, quite frankly.”
The new Board members are:
- Eric Bischoff, the former promoter of WCW (World Class Wrestling), martial arts expert, male model, feminist poet, and motorcycle enthusiast.
- Donald Trump, the longtime frenemy of Vince McMahon who recently portrayed the role “US President” on a surreal, dark comedy that played out every day on social media and the news. The twice-impeached former “president” recently earned universal acclaim for his incredibly valuable and popular digital trading cards.
- An Anonymous Board Member, who communicates only via email to a laptop on a podium in the WWE boardroom
- Vince McMahon’s only son, Hornswoggle.
- Dr. Bob Ponovich, former WWE medic and creator of ICO PRO, a bodybuilding supplement that was removed from the market in the 1980s for causing shrunken grapefruits.
- Dixie Carter, former head honcho of TNA (Tits n’ Ass) Wrestling, which nearly put WWE out of business in 2010 when the two companies went head-to-head for Monday night dominance. Carter, who rose to fame on the sitcom Designing Women, has spent the past five years as Chief Executive Officer of Myspace.
McMahon told the Board that it is “time to turn this ship around,” and said that the board’s first order of business should be the return of the Brawl 4 All.
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