Roman reigns strong
WWE honcho Vince McMahon (right) is adamant that Roman Reigns make Roman Reigns look strong, no matter what it takes.

Determined to establish Roman Reigns as a main-event superstar (whether he is ready for the position or not), Vince McMahon reportedly told Roman Reigns yesterday that Roman Reigns needs to make Roman Reigns look strong.

“Be sure to make yourself look strong,” McMahon insisted during a backstage huddle with Reigns. “We need you to look strong. You, strong, got it?”

Reigns nodded in agreement and promised that, yes, he will make himself look strong, because all that truly matters is that, above all else, Roman Reigns is made to look strong.

The need to make Roman Reigns look strong — which shouldn’t be that hard, given that he’s a menacingly muscular Samoan brute — was underlined during a recent interview with former WWE  CM Punk, who said that his sole purpose in WWE was evidently to make Roman Reigns look strong.

Ironically, immediately after yesterday’s backstage pep talk, Reigns won a match via countout, which is generally regarded to be the least effective way to make oneself look strong.

According to backstage sources, Reigns will henceforth only be booked in matches against El Torito, which should, thanks solely to the vast size differences, truly make Reigns look strong.