mcmahon car
Vince McMahon (seated) surveys the damage of his favorite mid-life-crisis purchase.

After two decades of meticulous and gruelling work, sports-entertainment mogul Vince McMahon has finally chiseled and clawed every last chunk out of the convertible Corvette vandalized by “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

Sources close to McMahon say he has spent most weekend in the garage of his Connecticut mansion, chipping away at the interior of the car, which was filled with cement at the apex of his rivalry with Austin, who had access to a cement truck at Monday Night Raw for reasons never fully explained.

McMahon vowed to repair the car himself rather than having it professionally restored, sources say, because he “refused to let that sonofabitch Austin get the last laugh, quite frankly.”

Fingers blistered and bleeding, McMahon finally scraped the last bits of cement out of the car’s dashboard this morning, and told wife Linda that he was going to drive the car back and forth in front of Austin’s house to gloat.

Next on McMahon’s to-do list is finally dry-cleaning the trousers he soiled with urine when Austin pointed a fake gun at his head.

Leave a Comment