Sports entertainment mogul Vince McMahon is reportedly preparing for a grandiose return to the music industry with an encore performance of his 1987 hit song Stand Back.
McMahon hasn’t publicly performed the song — purportedly a tribute to Andre the Giant, but really a thinly veiled tribute to McMahon’s own indomitable ego — for 25 years, though he is known to frequently sing it in the shower.
Sources close to McMahon report that the 68-year-old impresario is “pulling out all the stops” for his performance of Stand Back on this week’s edition of Monday Night Raw, which features the annual Slammy Awards.
Legendary wrestler Hulk Hogan has been recruited to play bass in a skin-tight tuxedo with cut-off sleeves, while an orchestra of wrestlers including Brian Blair, Jake Roberts and Brutus Beefcake fill out the horn section.
McMahon has picked out a pink dress shirt with the biggest collar he could find, and a pair of pants custom-made to accentuate the bulge of his self-described “genetic jackhammer.”
Most employees of World Wrestling Entertainment have been too afraid to tell McMahon that the song is terrible, and that he can’t sing.